Our first night in a “real room” was an adventure. The last time I fed Victoria last night was at 11pm. Afterwards, I let her sleep for as long as she would before waking to feed again. She woke at 3am very hungry. From what the doctors tell me, she overate a little. She ate almost 4 ounces and never looked back! She definitely has a bigger appetite now. She never spit up anything she ate, but after eating so much we thought she did have a little tummy ache. From 3am on she didn’t sleep much, which meant that I didn’t sleep much.
Victoria’s monitoring system kept alarming which was a pain. The nurse believes that some of the de-SAT readings (de-saturation or decrease of oxygen in the blood) were correct, but some probably were not. Regardless, every time that machine alarmed, we would have to hit a button (which was located high on a shelf) to turn the alarm off. Why couldn’t someone be innovative enough to make a remote control for a machine like that? At least I could stay in bed and turn the thing off by remote! Wouldn’t that be dreamy?
All morning has seemed to be a fight with the monitoring system. If Victoria gets too cool or moves too much, she alarms. I have been freaked out all morning and have had little sleep. You’ll see what great condition I’m in by viewing my picture this morning. So far, it’s almost noon and I’ve had no bath yet. The days of luxury are over. But, I’m thankful, because that means that although I look ugly, I’m able to care for my little Victoria!
Because of all the ups and downs this morning with Victoria’s SATS, several of her doctors were paged. We were visited by Dr. Pierce, Dr. Alten and Dr. Borasino. Having all three men in the room was quite a gas. They were joking with us and we were thankful for the laughs. They looked Victoria over really well and all conversed. They believe she is doing well, but she does have some respiratory issues to overcome before going home. We continue to pray that she will make advancements in this area.
Now, let us all join hands and pray that tonight is a better night for Victoria. Let us pray for the monitors that are demonized to be exercised of their evil spirits. Let us pray for Mark to get sleep on the hardest fold-out-chair ever constructed. And finally, let us pray that God miraculously closes off the air conditioning vent that continuously blew directly in my face all night. Amen!
Have you ever been given a gift and mistook the value of it? To the giver, it was a very valuable treasure, but you thought it to be something much less. I’ve done that before with Christmas and birthday gifts. Maybe, at times, I didn’t value the gift as much as the giver of the gift might have wanted.
I think back to the first Christmas Mark and I spent together. Even though we had known each other for many years, Mark and I both got each other gifts that were not especially appreciated. After the exchanging of our gifts was over, there were a few uncomfortable moments, then we both asked each other “Why did you get me this or that?” We thought we knew each other’s taste better. We thought we knew what each other might want or need in the selection of our gifts. We were wrong.
On March 10, 2008, God gave me a wonderful gift. He gave me a precious child named Victoria Jayne. But on May 7, 2008, God decided to give me an even greater gift. He gave me the chance to see how blessed I was to have Victoria in my life. I had the terrible opportunity of imagining what life would be like without her. If you remember the Christmas classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” well, I kinda felt like George Bailey. I’d been given a chance to see how great my life really is.
See, God knew what I needed in a gift. The gift He gave was highly treasured by Him. Even though I didn’t realize it’s value initially, I could never forget Victoria’s priceless value now. As I fed Victoria this morning in CICU, gazing into her beautiful brown eyes, I realized I had fallen in love with her long before her birth. Even though I was frightened by all the “what if’s” during my pregnancy, I know now that I loved Victoria even then. I know that we will have much to overcome together during her life, but I will always love her and accept her. I can say now without reservation that I love my gift!
Today we were given another gift from the Lord. We were able to finally see Victoria graduated to a real hospital room! From the way it looks, we will hopefully be able to take our little gift home on Sunday or Monday.
I left this morning around 8:40am, heading back to UAB. Leaving wasn’t as traumatic as I had feared. Natalie was sleepy from some cold medication so I hugged her up and put her in the bed. Elyssa had just started watching “Super Why” on PBS, so I had to get her attention to give her my “good-bye” speech. I sat her in my lap and asked her where I had to go today. I had been telling her that I would have to go back to the hospital since I had gotten home in hopes that my leaving might be easier. She knew how to answer my question. She said, “You have to go back to Birmingham.” I explained that I was going to get Daddy and Victoria and I hoped that I would be home in a few days.” We hugged and I told her to be a good girl.
Next I hugged Mark’s parents (they were staying with the girls this morning for my mom). When Elyssa saw me hug them, she knew I was really leaving at that moment. She immediately clung to my leg. She walked with me very closely out to the garage with Mark’s mom following behind us. I hugged Elyssa once more and told her I loved her. I put my last few things in the van and went back for one more hug. It was then that Elyssa started crying and calling my name. It was so sweet. Thankfully, Mark’s mom had brought bubbles for them to blow and distracted her with that. She cried a little more and then was okay. She and Grandmother left to blow bubbles. It was a peaceful departure for me. The Lord answered my prayers!
During my drive to UAB, I listened to a wonderful CD called “The Breath Of God.” The music arrangements in the background are a little hokey, but the CD is great. It’s a narration of tons of Bible verses that flow back-to-back. I was so encouraged by the verses being spoken. A verse that especially ministered to me was James 1:2-4. Here is that wonderful verse:
“2) Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3) For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4) So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”
God reminded me that Victoria’s situation is an opportunity for Mark and me to grow. It seems weird to be joyful for this testing, but we can be joyful because we have seen God move in such mighty ways. God has worked and we have been amazed!
God continues to work in Victoria. This morning at 9:30am, the breathing tube was removed. So far, the doctors and nurses seem very pleased with how she was doing. They said she has done much better with the removal of the breathing tube this time.
Today, at 1pm, I was able to help give her a sponge bath. I also fed her 2 1/2 ounces of breast milk! She was very hungry and was satisfied after filling her little belly. The doctor feels 99% sure that she is “over the hump” and looks for her to be in a room in the next few days.
We continue to put our trust in God and remind ourselves that He is in control. He is a good God and we are thankful that He is on our side!
PS – We were surprised by an old college friend today. Brett Burleson drove over from Tuscaloosa to visit with us and Victoria at 1pm. We felt so blessed that he wanted to come see us! Brett serves as the Spiritual Maturity Pastor at Valleyview Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa. Thanks, Brett!! We love you and your sweet wife, April!
I drove home yesterday afternoon to visit Elyssa and Natalie. It was about a 3 1/2 hour drive from Birmingham. Mark really had to convince me to leave, but I knew that I needed to see my other girls. I didn’t realize how much I had missed them until I saw them.
