This morning when Elyssa woke, she called for me to get her out of her crib (which is a normal occurrence). We are keeping her in that thing as long as we can! Freedom for her to get out of her bed is a fear of mine and Mark’s. We don’t look forward to the days when she can easily get out of bed and show up in our room all hours of the night. I believe, however, those days are fast approaching as Elyssa has started climbing out of her crib. The move to a big bed is not far away, I’m afraid.
Back to my story. After Elyssa woke, I took her to the bathroom. I pulled down her pants and sat her on her potty. As she sat and pee peed, she tooted. She looked at me and said, “Do you smell that?” I laughed and said, “No.” She said, “That was me.” I laughed again. Then she said, “No, that was you!” In response, I said, “No, that was you.” Finally, she said, “No, that was Daddy!”
I had a good laugh to start my day! Thank you Lord, for my little girls!
Have you ever felt so frazzled at the end of a day that you thought you would lose it? That’s where I am today. My two older girls have really tested me this afternoon. Thankfully, I’ve been able to remain calm and discipline in the right frame of mind. That is my most un-favorite part of being a parent. Disciplining. You know it has to be done, but it is not pleasant (for either party).
Having two girls that are the ages of 2 1/2 and 16 months is challenging. They are both getting into everything. I almost wish I had two of me so I could split up and chase each one while they go their separate ways. That would be too easy, I suppose.
It’s nice when their sweet sides show up during the day. That keeps me sane. And, I enjoy seeing how sweet they CAN be. They can really be cute when they want to be. “When they want to be” is the important part of that sentence. I wish they “wanted to be” sweet all the time. But, that is all a part of terrible two’s and three’s, right?
So, today I guess you can call me crazy. As I write in my blog, I’m pumping. Mark is watching the girls while I’m occupied. I can hear Elyssa now banging on my bedroom door. I know it’s quite funny, but I can endure the pain of pumping for a few more minutes just to enjoy my alone time.
PS – Today wasn’t all stressful. The stress came mostly around the later afternoon. There were many fun moments. One exciting moment was that Victoria nursed again. I only had time to try nursing her once in the early afternoon when the girls were napping. She did very well, although she is still dealing with some nasal congestion. I’ve moved a cool-midst humidifier close to her cradle in hopes that will help her.
Today was a really nice day. The girls went to Mom’s Day Out while I took Victoria to a few appointments.
We first stopped by USA Children’s And Women’s Hospital to meet with Ann, the lactation consultant. She has been such an encouragement to me during Victoria’s breastfeeding challenges. I first met her when I delivered at the hospital. She also came to my rescue when Victoria was rushed to the hospital about four weeks ago. During all of the commotion of getting Victoria stable during that crazy time, she got a pump set up for me and got together what she called a “tittie bag” for me to take on my trip to Birmingham. Since it was such a rushed trip, I had others pack for me and I needed some pumping items. I remember asking Mark, did she say “goodie bag” or “tittie bag?” It was the latter. We laughed about that.
Ann told me that there is hope for Victoria and to keep trying with nursing although she still doesn’t do well at times. In fact, today she cried bunches about it. But, her nose was also congested. That could be the culprit for her not wanting to cooperate. Hey(side note!)…I learned something new today! Ann said that you can put a few drops of breast milk in a baby’s nose, massage it and then suck it out. It surely worked for Victoria! I’ve never seen so much junk come out of a baby’s nose. No wonder she was getting mad during feedings. She couldn’t breathe very well. Ann came to my rescue again!
After my meeting with Ann, I traveled over to Cardiology Associates. I took Victoria for a weight check. She is weighing 7 lbs 14 oz and is 21 inches long. Hopefully, over the next weeks I will really see an increase in her weight.
Kathy, a nurse at Cardiology Associates, has been so sweet to me. I’ve enjoyed getting to know her. She has such a calming personality. She really helped me through Victoria distress four weeks ago. When they were bringing in oxygen for Victoria and calling the ambulance, she was really understanding of my fears and comforted me in such a genuine way.
As I walked out of their office under the overhang, I remembered Victoria and I getting into the ambulance. It was strange to remember all of the feelings I was having back in those moments of craziness and chaos. It almost seems a world away, but still close all at the same time. I felt so thankful walking under that overhang today. I felt thankful that God had been and continues to be so faithful to us. I felt thankful that He ordered every step we took and brought so many wonderful people in our lives to help us through our trial. I felt thankful for the way He has taken care of us, even when we didn’t really know what we needed at the time.
He has been so good!
Being at home seems weird. Today was a good day, but now at the end of it I feel strange. Knowing that I still cannot get out with Victoria makes being home a little harder than I thought it would be. I would love to see family and friends and attend church, but I have been informed by the doctors to still keep her in for about four more weeks. Even after four weeks, I’ve been told to “be careful” with how much close contact she gets with people. For that reason, the doctors tell me to keep her at a distance from other children. Children are big “germ carriers” I’ve been told. I guess I know that to be true with two young children of my own. Mark and I were relatively a “well household” before children came along. Since kids, we’ve been exposed to viruses and such. I have to even be careful with how much I let Elyssa and Natalie around Victoria. We are kinda playing by the same rules as we did before Victoria’s surgery for a little while longer. I’ll be glad when this period of recovery is over.
Mark and I were told that Victoria’s sternum is to be treated like a broken bone, since it was cut to perform her open-heart surgery. For that reason, we cannot lift her under her arms for a long time. We have to “scoop” her up. It’s amazing the things you have to remind yourself of when handling her. When you’ve had two other kids that you cared for without these types of issues, you get use to doing things a certain way. I’m having to re-train myself in many things.
Life will continue to be interesting. As soon as Victoria is finished with her official “recovery” period, we should be able to begin in-home therapy for her. I look forward to being able to help train her in some things that will be useful to her development. I just pray that I can do a good job for her. I can’t help but feel that her development rests in my hands. That is a lot of pressure, but I will do the best I can. I want her to have as many opportunities as possible to develop into a bright, young girl.
I was told by an occupational therapist at UAB that Victoria is pretty unorganized with her feeding patterns. The bad habits I mentioned in a few blogs earlier showed themselves when I tried feeding Victoria with the OT present yesterday before we left UAB. I’m planning on meeting with a lactation consultant tomorrow to get further help with nursing. It will be interesting to see if anything comes out of my meeting. Hopefully, she can coach me in some techniques that will help Victoria feed better and quicker.
Yes, interesting days lie ahead for the Messick family. I don’t claim to think things will ever be “normal” again, but maybe in time I will find a more “comfortable” place than I’m in right now. Maybe I won’t be so worried that Victoria’s sisters won’t hurt her by mistake. Maybe I won’t worry about her health and her recovery. Maybe I’ll feel “carefree” again. But, maybe I won’t. Because, isn’t that what being a parent is all about?
