Surgery Today …

My day started at 2am, when Natalie woke with a “croupy” cough. She was crying a little but I was able to just pat her back and she went right to sleep. I hate that Mark will be dealing with a sick child in my absence today, but what can you do? That is the “unexpected” joy of having children, right?

I never went back to sleep after waking at 2am. I had planned to get up around 3am or so to prepare for Victoria’s surgery today. She is having tubes put in her ears and I have to have her at the hospital at 5:15am. I think I will be a zombie by noon!

As you begin your day, I’m asking that you say a little prayer for Victoria. Her surgery will begin around 7am. It should be a short surgery, but I do imagine it may last longer than a routine procedure. Victoria’s ear canals are so narrow that her doctor has informed me that it will be “difficult.” Pray for God to be with Carter Bryars, her ENT, as he performs her surgery. Pray that all will go smoothly and that Victoria will remain in stable condition throughout the entire procedure.

I will post an update later today to let you know her progress!

September 3, 2009
  1 COMMENT

Say What?

Today Victoria met with one of her therapists, a “special instructor”, to be accurate with her title. Her special instructor teaches Victoria and me sign language that will help facilitate Victoria’s speech that will come later on. Her instructor comes every 2 weeks to our home. She will usually ask me how much Victoria is babbling. Victoria does babble, but it comes and goes depending on how much she is stimulated by her environment. As a busy mom it is hard for me to sit directly in front of her all day and “talk” to her. So, I just do the best I can in everyday life and pray that God uses it all to help her along.

I asked her special instructor today when down syndrome babies usually start to say words. I kinda wondered when she might say, “Mamma” or “Daddy.” I wasn’t quite prepared for the answer she gave me. She told me that it is normally around 3 or 4 years of age. I was shocked and I felt my heart sink. To think I might not be able to hear Victoria say my name for several more years just tore my heart up. Can you imagine?

I have been grieving tonight, to say the least. Grieving and praying. I knew the road of having a special-needs child would be filled with joy and grief, so these feelings are not new to me. I’ve had a little of both through this journey.

I guess my grief reminds me that I’m human. It reminds me that the success of Victoria’s future isn’t all up to me. Her life and future are held in the hands of her heavenly Father, God. In moments when I want to cry (and, I have done some of that today), I have to, again, surrender and say, “God, I cannot do this alone. My emotions need to be held secure in Your hands. When my mind cannot wrap itself around what I don’t understand, keep me sane. When I think my sweet little girl should be able to do things that others say might not be possible, help me continue to have faith in the One who created her.”

If you are in a place of “not understanding” what is happening in your life, just hold on! Hold on with me to the most secure person in the universe … God! Hold on to a wonderful verse that I cling to so often in my walk of faith:

“You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book. The very day I call for help, the tide of battle turns. My enemies flee! This one thing I know: God is for me!” Psalm 56:8,9

Even if Victoria doesn’t “talk” to me for several more years, I will still cherish her. I will cherish her smile, her glowing eyes that say so much in themselves alone, her hugs, her open-mouth, slobbery kisses and her little grunts that try to tell me things that I may not understand. God, help me to cherish every moment and to learn that in the times that I might have to cry … You catch those tears in your bottle and know every one!
September 1, 2009
  4 COMMENTS

Life’s Laughter

Have you ever wondered what causes laughter? I mean, why would God create such an interesting thing that we all take pleasure in? I read something recently on http://www.wikipedia.com/ about laughter. I want to share it with you.

“Laughter is Genetic” Robert R. Provine, Ph.D. has spent decades studying laughter. In his interview for WebMD, he indicated “Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Everyone can laugh. Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh.

Even though I don’t understand all the reasons that God created laughter, I sure take joy in it. Today is a day that I appreciated laughter so much. I was able to spend some sweet time with my special-needs daughter, Victoria Jayne, this afternoon after she woke from her nap. She was in such a happy mood. She just laughed and laughed at most every silly thing I did. I cannot describe the joy I felt while watching her laugh. My mind thought back to the days that she was lying limp on a hospital bed after having open-heart surgery at 7 weeks of age. It seemed then that I wouldn’t get to enjoy a day like today at that point. But, today, through laughter, God reminded me of His faithfulness. He reminded me that He can take a circumstance that once seemed so grim, such as adjusting to the life of being a special-needs mother, and turn it into pure joy.

What a blessing it was to watch Victoria laugh today. I know God must’ve been laughing with her! I can’t imagine that His heavens were not filled with extra-happiness when her voice rang out in laughter today!

August 18, 2009
  3 COMMENTS

Vitamin Crisis

I guess I knew it was coming.  I mean, Natalie couldn’t go too long without putting something up her nose, right!?! 

Here I was getting all three girls in the bed by myself.  Elyssa kept getting out of bed while I was feeding Victoria a bottle.  Natalie was in her crib asking for a vitamin.  I got two vitamins out of the Flinstone bottle and asked Elyssa to eat one and give one to Natalie.  She did just as I asked. 

I was almost done feeding Victoria her bottle when I heard Natalie began to scream.  I thought Elyssa was bothering her.  Elyssa came running into Victoria’s bedroom and told me that Natalie needed me right away.  I quickly put Victoria down because Natalie’s screams were getting louder.  I began to hear her crying about her vitamin.  I turned her light on thinking she dropped her vitamin in her bed.  I looked around trying to find it in her covers.  Then, I heard her say that her vitamin was in her nose!  Elyssa told me, “Natalie put her vitamin up her nose!” 

Frantically, I grabbed Natalie out of the bed and took her into my bedroom.  I turned on the lamp, grabbed the flashlight, tweezers and nose drops all while Natalie was still screaming lying on my bed waiting for me.  Once I pointed the flashlight at her nose, I could see it.  That vitamin was almost out of grabbing distance, but I thought I could get it with tweezers if Natalie would be really still.  So, while holding the flashlight between my right chin and right shoulder I told Natalie to be really still.  She flinched several times but I tried to explain I wasn’t going to hurt her.  I was going to get her vitamin out.  After a few tries, I finally got hold of the vitamin with my tweezers and pulled it out.  Poor Natalie was screaming.  Those Flinstone vitamins are really rough in their texture, so I’m sure it hurt a lot.  I put some nose drops in her nose and hugged her tight.  I said, “Natalie, don’t EVER put anything up in your nose again!  It hurts your nose when you do that!  You scared Momma!”  She said, “I scared, too, Momma.”  She just kept crying and said she would never do it again. 

Oh … I pray this time she really means it!

PS – Mark finally got in tonight from his mission trip to London and Bangladesh!  I will see him in a few moments!  I’m excited to have my husband back home!

August 14, 2009
  2 COMMENTS

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