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Adventures In Grossland

As a single person about 6 years back and even now being married, I’ve always joked about gross things. It’s been a part of my personality. People look at me on the outside and think I’m all “prim and proper” and then they hear crazy stuff come out of my mouth. They laugh hysterically because they are shocked by my dry-humor comments. They don’t expect a little southern girl to make jokes about the potty or funny bodily functions.

I must admit that I get this trait honestly. Somehow I picked this up from my simple family life. My parents didn’t talk that way, per say, it’s just that we had an open home life and talked about a lot of funny things. I’m glad I was raised that way. We didn’t try to be anything we were not. We just laughed at life and enjoyed the humor in how God created things. He has to have a sense of humor, so why don’t we?

Being a mother now, I definitely have to have a sense of humor about bodily functions and such. I mean, all day long I’m looking at “poo” and “pee” and the biggest boogers of all time. If someone had a video camera on me when having to clean all three of my girls umbilical chords until they fell off, I’d be one of those people who gagged through the entire process. I’d probably win the AFV million dollar prize! You have to laugh at some point or else you go crazy. And, now with Victoria’s surgery under my belt, I’ve seen more blood than I thought I ever wanted to and more tubes and wires in weird places of the body than I ever cared to see. I guess I thought I’d stop being grossed out after all my crazy experiences with my kids. But, I don’t.

You wonder sometimes if your kids have a clue that you don’t really care for catching their puke, constantly wiping poop off their bottoms or picking their boogers. I guess they might think you are some super hero with an immunity to being grossed out. Wouldn’t that be nice? But, in reality, their gross bodily functions are like our kryptonite. Those gross things almost cripple us. We are within inches of being brought to our knees by an overwhelming sense of nausea. But, thankfully, the Lord comes to our rescue. He reminds us, once again, that as mothers we have been gifted and equipped to handle even the most awful of situations. We can, again, rise to the occasion and do our job like no one else can.

Now as I close, let me go wipe the poop off of Victoria’s bottom that so explosively entered her diaper while I was writing this blog. Call me Wonder Woman, I guess! Now where is my invisible jet ….

PS – I caught a little smile on Victoria’s face today. I think this smile was a fore-warning of the explosion of poop that was to be in my near future. Those dratted poops!

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3 Comments

  • Anonymous
    June 11, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    She is adorable…..
    I am so looking forward to
    the day she can come out in
    public and we can love on her. Thank you for keeping us posted
    on her progress. You have helped us with our prayers on her and your behalf. We are so honored to have had some small part in this work of God. He is to be praised!
    Blessings…..
    Mary

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    June 12, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Heather,

    Your sense of humor hasn’t changed a bit in the 30+ years that I’ve known you! (wow, we are getting old!!!)

    Take care and I’m glad to see Victoria is doing so well.

    e-mail me sometime: atc4212@gmail.com

    Joy (from MSBC)

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    June 12, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Girl, you crack me up!?

    I’ll check our archives for that newspaper for you, from March 10 … and did you check on that other newspaper that was sent to you? Did I really mail it? Was it the correct day, with Victoria’s birth announcement in it?? If I mailed it, I can’t BELIEVE I remembered to do that and then TOTALLY forgot about it. (Maybe I need to start eating my Wheaties!) Drop me a line and let me know … elransburg@press-register.com.

    Love you lots! I was deeply touched and so blessed to hear you sing and hear Mark preach the Word of God on Sunday night … The Lord is so good, and so faithful!

    Eleanor Ransburg
    219-5713

    Reply
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